Mindful Abandonment

By Anna Berlinger

Come on a journey with me. Close your eyes.

You’re a little kid again. You’ve just woke up, and it’s Saturday morning.

The sun is just starting to peer through the latices.

The thrill of excitement tingles through you,

and your imagination comes alive.

Everywhere, there is joy,

wonder,

and most of all,

a deep sense of peace.

 

Remember those days?

They don’t have to be over.

 

Our world has programmed adults to think that we need to be our own saviors. For most people, “adulting” means that you need to know all the answers. You need to always have it together. You need to perform all your tasks as perfectly as possible. You need to always be on time for everything. You need to know exactly what’s going to happen and when. For the sake of your temporal security, you need to know (or at least, be good at anticipating) what the future holds.

That’s the expectation. Then reality hits.

You don’t have all the answers. Emotions well up at the most inconvenient times. Every task you attempt is done poorly, even the most basic. You feel like you’re never on time for anything anymore. You can’t guess what’s going to happen, much less when. You fail time and time again to anticipate future events or stop problems before they arise.

I know these moments and so do you. They are anxiety-inducing.

But they don’t have to be.

 

Come on another journey. Close your eyes.

Invite the Lord into the presence of this moment. Call on your imagination and see Him.

Feel His embrace.

Open your mind to His presence in the sensations around you:

the air on your skin,

the sounds you hear,

the breath coming in and out of your lungs.

Let these realities of the present ground you.

If your mind wanders, gently bring it back.

 

Now, place your hands out in front of you

and clench them into fists.

Squeeze them as tightly as you can.

You will feel the blood pulsing in your palms and fingers.

Don’t let go. Hold the grasp as long as you can.

And when you can’t hold it any longer, squeeze harder.

As the sensations become increasingly uncomfortable, allow your mind to wander to your fears:

the tense places in your relationships,

the emotions that you couldn’t control,

the tasks you didn’t perform well,

the future that seems so unknown.

 

Now, slowly begin to unclench your fists.

Draw the action out as long as possible.

Your joints will respond haltingly from the tightness of your grasp.

They will act like they don’t know how to let go,

but they will, slowly.

 

As each finger extends,

let go of every un-perfect moment,

until your hands are stretched out

with palms facing upward

and the relief flows into your limbs.

Draw all your attention to the slow intake and exhale of your breath.

As you embrace the peace,

let the following lines play over and over in your mind.

 

“I lift every fear to the heavens.

Watch them disappear in your presence.

One by one, they fall

into perfect peace!”

- Amanda Lindsey Cook “Still”

 

A child has no fear because he trusts fully that his parent will provide all his needs.

Speak the following prayer to your soul and know that only abandonment to Divine Providence will restore the child within you.

Trust Him with your wounds.  He can heal anything!  

 

“My Jesus, I surrender myself to you. Take care of everything!”

 

Amen.

 

 

Song Links: 

Amanda Lindsey Cook, “Still”

Abide” (a playlist that helps me to surrender)

 

October 25, 2020 - 8:47pm
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